Tuesday, June 24, 2014

What Am I Worth?




HOW DOES ONE DEFINE WORTH?

Recognizing one's own sense of self worth is an extremely important step in the pursuit of happiness.  I believe that worth is a synonym for identity. Identity refers to who we are and who we are depends on what we identify with. So what do you identify with? Identify is also a synonym for recognition which is why recognizing self worth is so important. Recognizing what makes us who we are is the key to finding our sense of self worth. Knowing how to identify worth changes how you view yourself and the world around you.
If you accept that worth is a synonym of identity then you can form the following mathematical equation:

(who we are) Sum of the Parts = Identity = Worth

 Sum of the Parts: This mathematical formula can be applied to individuals, objects, and services.  Our identity is made up of who and what we are; in other words the sum of the parts. The sum of the parts refers to the experiences, appetites, and beliefs that we identify with. The sum of the parts can also refer to the materials necessary to build an object. A baseball glove is the sum of leather, padding, and straps. The application of this equation is universal. To be able to define worth you must be able to measure the sum of the parts. The two units of measurement that can be applied to the sum of the parts to determine worth are cost and value. Since there are two ways to measure the sum of the parts, everything has a "Cost Worth" and a "Value Worth".

Cost Worth: Cost refers to currency which means this method of measuring the sum of the parts can only be applied to things that can be defined with currency. The cost of the leather, the padding, and the straps would be the Cost Worth of a baseball glove. It is important to note that Cost Worth is not the same thing as price. Price is what you pay for the finished baseball glove at the store. The price of the glove at the store is the retailers estimation of how much you are willing to pay for the Baseball glove. You can argue with price but you can't argue with Cost Worth. A cost valuation of worth can be definitively defined. Things to consider when using cost to determine worth;

  • Tangible- Cost requires currency and currency is tangible; A cost valuation is a temporal valuation. Currency holds no value outside of society and this mortal existence.
  • Logical- There is no subjectivity to Cost Worth.
  • Simplified- A cost valuation of worth is based off of currency alone. This valuation model does not take into account factors such as utility, familiarity, or sentiment.
Thus a cost valuation of worth can be referred to as: Tangible Worth/Identity, Logical Worth/Identity, or Simplified Worth/Identity.

 Sum of  the parts = Cost Identity = Cost Worth

Value Worth: How does one determine the Cost Worth of something that can't be defined by currency? Currency can define leather, padding, and straps but it can't define sentiment. Value Worth refers to the sentiment, familiarity, and utility that we attach to the sum of the parts. Value Worth can be applied to anything. Value Worth is universal and completely subjective. Value Worth is completely subjective because there is no wrong answer. A baseball glove will hold a significant Value Worth to a baseball player. The exact same baseball glove holds a much lower Value Worth to a Basketball player due to utility. The Cost Worth of an old pocket knife my grandfather gave me pales in comparison to my valuation of it's Value Worth. The world would define my grandfathers pocket knife with the Cost Worth of about $5. To me the pocket knife's Cost Worth is irrelevant because it's Value Worth is extraordinary.  Things to consider when using value to determine worth;
  • Conditional- The Value Worth of a bottle of water is much different on a blistering hot day then it is on a cold day. Value Worth can change due to circumstance. Value Worth is altered if there is a change in sentiment, utility, or familiarity.
  • Emotional-  There is nothing logical or tangible about Value Worth. Value Worth is a spiritual worth. Value Worth means that things are more then the Cost Worth associated with the sum of their parts.
  • Complex-  There are things in life that can't be defined with currency like love, happiness, and spirituality. Value Worth helps measure the sum of the parts in a way that doesn't depend on currency.

Thus a value evaluation of worth can be referred to as: Conditional Worth/Identity, Emotional Worth/Identity, or Complex Worth/Identity. 

Sum of the Parts = Value Identity = Value Worth

SHOULD I FOCUS ON MY COST OR MY VALUE?

Price is always an issue in the absence of value --- profitability is the distance between cost and price. This economic principle that is seemingly common sense is far too often forgotten when applied to self worth.

  • Where is your focus if your self worth is defined by your job, your bank account, or your possessions? 
  • Do you lead a cost or value driven life if you don't learn anything from the trials you face?
  • Are your motivations, goals, and self worth defined by cost or value?

I think deep down inside we all know that our self worth is anything but simple, tangible, or logical. We are worth more then the sum of our tangible or temporal parts. Far too often we focus all of our energy and resources seeking the tangible or the temporal. If we focus our energy on the intangible or spiritual, then life will be much more meaningful.  If you view the world around you through the lens of value rather than cost, you will be able to identify your true self worth much more clearly!

One final observation: The happiest people I know care more about their Value Identity then their Cost Identity. The most effective way to increase your Cost Worth is to focus on your Value Worth. 

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

A father, A friend

I got to spend a great day with my Dad yesterday. I had a meeting up in Sacramento and asked Dad if he wanted to drive along with me. Sacramento is about a 3 hour drive from Hollister so it was a good chance to visit with the old man to and from my meeting. We had the opportunity to visit and chat about politics, our careers, and family. It was such an amazing day! I'm so glad I got to spend time with him.

Its a real pleasure to get to know your parents as an adult. The role of parent takes on many forms over the span of your life. My relationship with my parents is much different then it was before I was a parent myself. The love and bond I feel for with my own son helps me understand the kind of love my parents have for me. My parents used to be my guardians but now they are my friends. I have more similarities with my Dad than anyone else on the planet so it's easy to be his friend! I realize that not everyone has the kind of relationship or similarities with their father as I do. I would say my father and I have much more in common that any of my other siblings. I really wish that I had the opportunity to get to know either of my grandparents as an adult. I miss my grandfathers a great deal and feel a bit of pain knowing that I will never get to know them on a "friend" level.

My dad is in a transition period right now in his career. It's been inspiring to watch my father focus on his scriptures and family during this tough time. He has been out of work for a year now and it would be easy for him to fall into a "Woe is Me" slump. I honestly think he is more focused, positive, and spiritual then I have ever seen him. It sucks that he has to be dealing with unemployment but it is a powerful lesson for me. Focus on what matters most in life. Even in tough times, happiness is a choice.

I want my grandchildren to know what an incredible man my father is. The best way I know how to pass on his legacy is to try to be like him myself. My Dad is my best friend! I'm will do everything in my power to have that kind of relationship with my children as well.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Sometimes you need pasta

Amy and I got to go spend some time together down in Carmel and Big Sur yesterday. I had a few appointments down there and so corporate booked me a hotel. On my way into work that morning I must have hit a nail or something because the "Flat Tire" warning sensor went off. I dropped my car off at a garage next to the office and they said my back left tire was ruined. So I called Amy and her start shopping for some tires. It was really cute to watch Amy "come to my rescue". I had a busy day of appointments so she just took over. She got a couple quotes and even talked the guy who had my car down quiet a bit. She hopped in her car and came to pick me up and take me to an appointment I had. In between my appointments we walked around Santa Cruz and just window shopped. I really should have been working hard to set appointments rather that killing time but money isn't everything! Sometimes you need to pay yourself with non-monetary compensation. I loved spending time with Amy and no paycheck was worth missing that for me! We walked around and after my last appointment drove down to Carmel. We talked on the phone the whole way down there and had fun visiting. By the time we got to Carmel we were both starving so we stopped at this little place called Napoli's for some Italian food. It was amazing food and a romantic ambiance so was perfect. In the bathroom they had a picture signed by the entire cast of "The Sopranos" which is a show I like so it was a fun dinner!

After dinner we went and saw the new Spiderman movie and loved it! It was fun getting popcorn and drinks and cuddling up to watch a movie on the big screen. The next morning we woke up and had breakfast at the hotel and then headed down to Big Sur. The drive was about 30mins but it is such a beautiful drive. Highway 1 from Carmel to Big Sur is one of the prettiest sections of the California coast! We got to the little Bakery where I was going to have my appointment but got their a few hours early. So we went and found this little restaurant down the street with wifi called Roadhouse. We had a few diet cokes and then headed back to the bakery. The owner of the Bakery stood me up and I only got to meet with the Manager. Usually this would really tick me off but since I had Amy there I didn't care. I was having fun spending the day with her so if I got a sale or not really didn't matter. Right as we were leaving the bakery we noticed an actor from a show we like called "Scandal" walk in. The actor plays the president on the show and so it was fun to see him. We hopped in the car after that appointment and headed back towards Carmel. Before my last appointment of the day we walked around Carmel a bit and then said goodbye. 

The last two days kind of felt like a weekend for me. It was relaxing and fun to spend time with Amy. I love that Amy and I have such a good relationship. There have been times in our marriage where I have acted very unappreciative of her.  My pride and selfishness blinded me for a while and prohibitted me from seeing what an amazing woman I married. I honestly cant think of a single aspect of my life that isn't signifcantly better now that I'm married to Amy. She is my best friend, my true love, and the best mom anyone could ask for! Rocky and I are pretty lucky! 

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

The Key is Positive Benchmarks

I've been a bit of a slump recently at work. In sales you have ups and downs a lot like life. Some months are great and some months aren't. Our fiscal year at Paychex runs June - May and so we have a new set of goals and expectations this month from corporate. I came really close to hitting a pretty high sales goal that I set for myself last year but fell just a little short. I think a big part of my current slump is due to the amount of energy and focus I expended trying to hit my end of year goals. I'm tired!

I've learned a lot about goal setting over the past year. There is a big difference between positive and negative goals.  A big part of true happiness is the sense of achievement. That's why some of the happiest people out there are avid goal setters. Religion is all about setting and working towards goals. Think about how much happiness and joy people draw from practicing religion. For the longest time I was setting very BAD goals. The goals I was working towards used negative benchmarks. For the longest time I've set "Competitive Goals" which meant I was drawing my sense of achievement  off of beating other people. Accomplishing negative goals brings the same sense of accomplishment but the sentiment is fleeting. I have found a much deeper and long-lasting sense of happiness from working towards positive goals.

HOW TO SET POSITIVE GOALS:
A positive goal is one you set for yourself. You will never be truly happy if the goals and objectives you work towards are set for you by others. The only benchmark that you should gage your progress on is your own self improvement. Self improvement brings a sense of long-lasting accomplishment and happiness that isn't found by benchmarking yourself against the performance of others. Helping others achieve their own goals brings far more happiness than being better than other people. Focus all of your energy and improving yourself and lifting others.

My life completely changed once I stopped worrying about goals others had set for me and the need to be better than others. I have much less stress in my life and know each day what I'm working towards. Goals you set yourself that use self improvement as benchmarks produce a sense of accomplishment and happiness. Goals that others set for you and use out performing others as benchmarks produce stress and fleeting satisfaction.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Jump Right In

Its been a fun weekend with the family! On Saturday we went up to Uncle Eric's place and Rocky gave us a bit of a scare. Rocky is fearless! It amazes me how little he cares for his own safety. It was a hot summer day so we brought swimsuits and Rocky took advantage of Uncle Eric's swimming pool. Eric had invited another family from his ward over and when we arrived there were already 4 kids playing in the pool. Rocky didn't hesitate at all and immediately asked to get in the pool. One of the things I admire about Rocky is he assumes that everyone is his friend. He isn't bashful at all and just assumes that everyone wants to play with him! I sure hope he keeps that quality because it will open up doors in life and make the people around him feel loved and accepted. As soon as we got a bathing suit on the little guy he jumped right in. After playing in the pool for a while, we decided to eat lunch. Eric had prepared hamburgers and hotdogs with a number of side dishes. Eating was a chore for Rocky that only distracted from play time. Rocky is such an active little boy that we are having a hard time getting him to slow down and eat. He is a bit of a picky eater anyways and when you couple that with tons of energy it leaves me amazed where all of his energy comes from. While we were all sitting by the pool eating lunch Rocky decided to jump in the deep section of the pool. It scared up us all! Luckily Eric was close enough that he hurried and reached in and was able to grab one of Rocky's arms and pull him up. Rocky has no fear and feels he can do anything. I love that about him! He is constantly trying to do things exactly the way we do them. For example, He insists on walking up a flight of stairs one step at a time. There is no way his little 2 year old legs are long enough to handle stairs one step at a time but that doesn't stop him from trying. 

Rocky,
You have been blessed with the ability to try new things without hesitation. You don't let the unknown get in your way and you literally "Jump In" to new things with both feet. Try your best to keep this quality your whole life. If you surround yourself with people that love you then you will always have someone there who can reach in and pull you out of harms way if you need it. Keep accepting others and befriending all you come in contact with. Its a Christlike attribute that you have been born with that you need to continually use and develop. I love you so much and am extremely proud of you. I'm one lucky Dad and I'm so excited how fast you are growing up. I can't wait to play catch with you in the back yard and take you frisbee golfing! I'm excited to see what hobbies and talents you are going to develop! Your mom and I will be your biggest fans and supporters.  I love you son!

Dad